Slowing Down and Self Care, Part Two

As everyone bustles by, I sit and will the room to stop spinning- to stop filling my brain with useless fog, and to stop the sleep from stealing my days away from me. Time is what everyone wants, but I don’t want time to sit alone anymore. I don’t want time to sway as I walk because of how loud the world can be. Mind, less wandering and sit and focus. Focus on anything Focuses on everything. The world is too loud for my thoughts to try and compete. The past few weeks have been some of the most inconsistent and trying times of my life. The effects of the concussion have hit me harder than I thought they would, and what with being out of school, it has made it difficult to feel included. On top of that, I found my previously existing struggles with mental health were met with more frustrations and feelings of isolation due to my concussion. What I’ve learned through this time is that there is no right way to recover. There is no simple way to get over it and go: you just need to sit with yourself and listen to what your body and mind need. There is no one right way to manage your time and there’s no right way to speed up the times in our lives when we need to slow down. No matter what, we must embrace it, be kind, and accept what is needed of us to take care of ourselves. It’s okay to take mindless walks just to feel the warmth of the sun on your face. It’s okay to start a task and put it away for a while. It’s okay to sit with your thoughts… but you must listen and you must be kind. To sit with my thoughts and try to put myself and my needs first has been difficult. I’ve felt selfish and frustrated, but taking this time of recovery has allowed me to reflect on myself. This time has shown me that my bustling overcrowded schedule was just me running away from me. As I work to reintroduce myself to the hustle bustle of campus life, I am careful to find meaning in what I am doing and to not take anything for granted. From being able to take the TTC to sitting in class for more than 30 minutes: these are things I struggled with a few weeks ago. Focusing on tasks is still difficult, but I am more kind to myself knowing that however much of myself I can give is all I can give and nothing more. While this might all sound unproductive and meaningless, this experience has shown me that if we strip away school, and friends, and work, the only thing left is you. The most important person to yourself needs to be you. Listen and be kind.