Relationships can be hard in university, hell, relationships can be hard no matter what part of your life you are going through. They require work and time, and require you to actually like the person (yes this is important too it turns out). There are many factors when it comes to finding someone who is worth your time as a partner in university, and for this post I would like to touch on this topic and take a more personal approach.
University relationships can be difficult for a variety of reasons: courses, work, extra curriculars and of course the residence/commuter thing. It’s difficult to make time for that other person with all of these other important priorities that you have as well.
I guess I am writing on this topic because I myself just got out of a relationship. My ex-girlfriend moved into residence and wanted to find her independence, so she decided to no longer be with me after almost 2 years. Now, I’m not writing this for any sympathy, but rather I am writing about it because I feel that it is a really pressing issue that many, if not al,l of us have or will have to deal with at some point.
When you get out of a relationship it can be extremely hard to focus on your studies and get back into the rhythm of things. I myself could use some advice on how to get back to being myself again (please feel free to comment below), but for the first time in my life I feel as though I have experienced something that is both difficult, and character building. In the mean time, over the past two weeks, I have found a few positive things that have really opened my eyes to the joys of being single again:
1. I have way more time for friends and family. Nothing has helped me more during these last few days than being with and around other people and just sharing and talking; it can really get your mind off of it.
2. You no longer have anyone to answer to that person. No more constant updates as to what you are doing or where you are going, instead you can invest more time in yourself and be more, for lack of a better word, selfish!
3. You can get your independence back. I don’t care what anybody says, relationships can really draw you away from your independence as a person, and nothing is more important than that.
So for all of you other students out there who are going through a rough time with a past relationship, just remember you’re not alone, that feeling of loss will pass. I’m willing to say that for me it totally hasn’t passed yet I still want to call my ex and try and work things out, but everyday it gets easier, and each day I see the importance of finding myself again as an independent individual.