How to Deal with Disappointment

This post is dedicated to dealing with disappointment. As my fourth year at university is about to begin I’ve had to learn to accept that I might not see many familiar faces in the upcoming semesters. Even during the summer I had hope that even though we are living through a pandemic most of my friends would be returning to Toronto for our final year of studies. The realization that many would not be returning has made me face feelings of disappointment, and I’m sure a lot of others are experiencing the same thing. 

This post can also be applied to other moments of disappointment in life, such as getting a lower grade than expected, but right now missing seeing friends in person has really been getting me down. Here’s some of my tips on how to deal with this: 

Allow time to process

I try to remind myself that time changes everything, in a few weeks this may be irrelevant, or perhaps a few years. Either way I know I will find something else fulfilling, something that is the right path for me.

I don't jump into a new task right away and instead give myself time to rest i.e. something that is a good distraction. For instance, if I'm upset about a bad grade I let myself take a rest day, maybe watch a film or something else relaxing. Just because the end result didn’t pay off doesn’t mean that I didn’t put in a significant amount of work. 

Focus on the bigger picture

Some things just aren’t meant to be, but that doesn’t mean new opportunities won’t arise in the future. There's still so many things to look forward to! I make lists of what I want to accomplish or what I am looking forward. Looking on the bright side can do wonders. 

Write out those feelings

People are good at wanting things to be over. We want to move forward, however I know it's important to allow myself to feel disappointed even if I want to forget about it. Writing out and understanding why I'm feeling disappointed helps me come to terms with my feelings and could help prevent this in the future. 

Make a plan for the future

There is absolutely no way to avoid disappointment in life, but there are ways to plan around it and be prepared to deal with it. This year has been difficult to predict, but I know that if I’d thought a bit more rationally about the likelihood of everything going back to normal by September I wouldn’t be feeling the disappointment so strongly. Knowing what makes me feel better when I'm disappointed will help me in the future too.

At the moment it may seem like the disappointment will last forever and that there’s nothing I can do, but the truth is those feelings will change with time, and it will get better soon.