Post-Modern Procrastination 1: Thgin Eht Evivrus I Lliw

(It looks funnier without the question mark.)

It’s 7:48pm, my bowels are acting up, I have not had the urge to crochet since finishing my very bright hat, annnndddd…

It’s 7:55pm. My bowels have been dealt with, my throat is sore, my nose is at one-nostril functionality, my hands are Vaseline’d, my earphones are in position, my brain better not start to cry, and I have an essay to finish. Tonight.

Wish me luck.


I have already avoided playing Phoenix Wright “for just five minutes.” A TIP FOR AVID GAMERS: If playing is distracting you, play very far, until a critical point, and then DON’T SAVE. The next time you pick up the game, you will remember how far you got, how beautiful it was, and will hopefully be too lazy or depressed to do it again “for just five minutes”. (NB: I don’t know how many genres this works for.)


I put my course reader on my desk.

I will laugh if this turns out to be another way to procrastinate. 8:05, 8:06, 8:07, oh look 2:24 because I fell asleep!

I also hope public shame will prevent that.

I promised Mom last summer I’d design for her a business card… NO NO NO I’M STARTING

8:10 pm: I realized earlier today, of the two readers I could use for this essay, I began with the less relevant. This means extra reading, and extra copious notes. Cr- I mean… Carp…al Tunnel…

8:58pm: Study guides/time management help thingies never mention the random interruptions by whoever you live with because this happened or that happened and it happens and ^$#@! and #@$ and also *@$!@!$.

9:06pm: AGAIN


How is it I get to the end of a long-winded, rhetorically abundant sentence and have no idea what the entire thing meant? Well, I’m done the first bloody reading on… “Women, Gender and Development” in or from “Women and Gender Equity in Development Theory and Practice: Institutions, Resources and Mobilization. Eds. Jane Jaquette, All These People, And So On And So Forth, 17-52.” I retained nothing.

9:48pm: A THIRD TIME

11:48pm: Perhaps… this approach is not working. What approach? Ah ha, well… It’s a research essay. I planned to violently extricate any and all meaning out of the two related readings from the syllabus, for a theoretical basis or something, and then move onto finding actual research, then make some wacky claim, then prove the claim, then go on with my Thursday as I will probably finish by 7 am. Making notes on this reading is taking forever, and will continue to take forever, as I have to read through the notes made, then read through those, until I have a short, un-rhetorical summary “in my own words”.

3:36 am: I am ashamed to say.

Prior to 3:36am:

or after?



“do not play Phoenix Wright,”
I beat it last night

read the wrong reading
to underline it all, took four days
i underlined it all

to implement
was to involve Photoshop, by 3:30
Experimental Stay-Awake Technique
was too weak

uhh… thank you, tara

no 17th cup of bittersweet, badly brewed, Godot-shaming darkness          no 1st cup either              no 0th             or

one year in the making.
Benny Hill runs to Edinburgh
“Because it sounds like ash.”
this is a dream cast

Various reactions to a sequel
11 years late,

interrupted by mother
she fails at skype
not at 3

i cannot tell thee       this unfortunate
detour was not that
of which, unfortunately
but for me
it will be
led to a discovery


they failed,                 as they were thrown to the ground
reading the wrong reading            as for the essay
well, not yet            what is there to say
not enough NEOLIBERALISM      2/3 of the class had skipped

but, i am not one for epiphanies
it’s a bad habit
i am starting to see
the subject is my character
because i learn gradually, when
where my problem lies

my problem
is being ashamed
of the problem
and me

and with this immediacy, bilaterally coupled with the decrease in the self-worth to adacemic proficieny gradient map,
matched with the NOT-THE-APOLCAYPLSE realization enzyme
my 17th cup of “You’re Such a Failure” thrown into the face of the appropriate

the task at hand can be conquered; it is now
a possibility hopefully

i won’t lose another week to a chimerical pile of flattened wood-pulp

impliement opposite              just figure out why              every time you don’t succeed

and i know which reading to do