"Hey, do you want some?" It was second year and I was sitting in Sid Smith when a girl I knew opened her purse and took out her caffeine pills. "I also have some other stuff, you know, day time…
How to lose friends and alienate people, U of T style
Move over Toby Young, and let U of T students demonstrate how it's actually done. As proud members of the self-proclaimed "Harvard of the North", we take the concept and practice of "survival of the fittest" to a whole new…
Post-Modern Procrastination 1: Thgin Eht Evivrus I Lliw
(It looks funnier without the question mark.) It's 7:48pm, my bowels are acting up, I have not had the urge to crochet since finishing my very bright hat, annnndddd... ... It's 7:55pm. My bowels have been dealt with, my throat…
PoSt Selection: How to get through it without dying [Part II]
UPDATE!! "Life Sciences POSt Seminar" on Wednesday, March 11 at 5:00pm. Event: Life Sciences POSt Seminar What: Workshop Host: Medical Sciences Student Union (MSSU) Start Time: Wednesday, March 11 at 5:00pm End Time: Wednesday, March 11 at 8:00pm Where: PB…
Lost: A Small Notebook that is Green and Wonderful
I had a little green notebook once and I loved it. It was for my history class. It had everything in it that I needed. Every class. All the points the professor made. Everything. Over reading week I’d begun to…
On the Chopping Block
When I heard about the upcoming Reading Week, you could imagine my relief. Somehow, February seems so busy, that Reading Week was the oasis in the desert – the opportunity to go home, hang out with my brothers, watch a…
PoSt Selection: how to get through it without dying [Part I]
(Note: this is by far the longest entry I have written for UpbeaT, but I strongly feel that all information here is pertinent to your future health, happiness and sanity, so please bear with me--you won't regret it) (Note Note:…
Higher Learning and Low Rent
My mini fridge is an overachiever. Its ambition has rendered my grapefruit juice to slush, my milk to an ice block, my apples to icicles and my baba ganoush to a solid mass. I think it had dreams of being…
My Only Hope: One day Someone will Realize my Mediocrity is Actually a Super Human Feat
UTormail: Inbox Email # 339 of 340 Date :Tues, 10 Feb 2009 00:09:10 -0600 From: Heather To: Phil Subject: AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey Phil, Ya, you're right, I really haven't gotten back to you in a while. This is…
You can talk in class if you give me $30.00
Our learned professor was trying to hold forth about 1.) Parody of novelistic conventions 2.) Demonstration on the limits of language and 3.) The medieval tradition of ‘learned wit’ The two girls beside me were discussing 1.) some…