Chris is an undergrad who wears bowties and sweaters and threatens to leave a trail of energy on the floor behind him. I work two days a week behind a desk at CIUT and when I hear the sound of…
New College, The Window Student Newspaper: The Meeting
Editor In Chief Layout Copy Editor Me Other Section Editor Business Manager “Hey, are those girls still mad? You know, the one’s who wrote those articles that J. stuck notes to at the end?” “I still think I was…
Rooting out the money – how to (and how not to) afford tuition
My first job paid me $6.40 an hour— the bare minimum wage legal to pay a teenager at the time. I worked next to the food court at the mall and the food smells were torture. “Listen, I just…
The Last Essay I Shall Ever Write
Heather HIS343Y1Y Project RYAN, the Meta-Essay: It’s an Essay that Knows It’s an Essay So, this is my last essay. I was going to take it REALLY seriously, you know...go out with a bang, but then it really occured…
Competitive? At U of T? Really?
"Hey, do you want some?" It was second year and I was sitting in Sid Smith when a girl I knew opened her purse and took out her caffeine pills. "I also have some other stuff, you know, day time…
Lost: A Small Notebook that is Green and Wonderful
I had a little green notebook once and I loved it. It was for my history class. It had everything in it that I needed. Every class. All the points the professor made. Everything. Over reading week I’d begun to…
Higher Learning and Low Rent
My mini fridge is an overachiever. Its ambition has rendered my grapefruit juice to slush, my milk to an ice block, my apples to icicles and my baba ganoush to a solid mass. I think it had dreams of being…
My Only Hope: One day Someone will Realize my Mediocrity is Actually a Super Human Feat
UTormail: Inbox Email # 339 of 340 Date :Tues, 10 Feb 2009 00:09:10 -0600 From: Heather To: Phil Subject: AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey Phil, Ya, you're right, I really haven't gotten back to you in a while. This is…
Death By Poetry
It's Sunday night and I'm surrounded by coke cans, empty plates, chocolate bar wrappers and bottles of Real Canadian Natural Spring Water. My neck is bent up at my screen in an unhealthy angle and I have a mighty headache…
You can talk in class if you give me $30.00
Our learned professor was trying to hold forth about 1.) Parody of novelistic conventions 2.) Demonstration on the limits of language and 3.) The medieval tradition of ‘learned wit’ The two girls beside me were discussing 1.) some…