(6-minute read)
September 2024
By A. Kapsack, 4th year medical student at Temerty Faculty of Medicine & K. Karbasy, Family Care Office/ Faculty Relocation Services Education and Communications Coordinator, University of Toronto
Meet Abby, a fourth-year medical student at the University of Toronto, whose journey into medicine was deeply influenced by her passion for science and her desire to make a meaningful impact through patient care. Inspired by her mother, an academic family physician, Abby sought to find the same sense of purpose in her career. Despite the challenges, she was determined not to choose between her aspirations of becoming a physician and building a family. Together with her partner, Abby embraced the journey of medical training while raising three children, a decision that, although extending her path to an MD, has brought immense joy and fulfillment. Abby’s experiences have driven her to support others in the medical field who face similar challenges, leading to her involvement in initiatives like Family Planning for Docs, where she helps provide essential resources and mentorship to medical trainees balancing family and career goals. Read her interview below!
Tell us a little bit about yourself! Who are you, what do you do and what led you to want to practice medicine?
My name is Abby, and I am a fourth-year medical student at the University of Toronto. It’s hard to pinpoint a specific event or an exact moment when I decided I wanted to become a doctor. My mother is an academic family physician and was always a source of inspiration for me. I saw her derive sincere satisfaction from her job and make a profound impact through her work; I wanted to find the same sense of purpose in my career one day. My passion for science led me to study Biomedical Sciences in my undergraduate studies and I always had medicine at the back of my mind. I initially thought about pursuing a career in research, but ultimately realized that although biology fascinated me, I was lacking the meaningful patient interactions that are at the core of medicine.
At the same time, I always knew I wanted to have children. Many people, both in and out of the medical field, discouraged me from going to medical school if I wanted to start building my family. But I knew that in order to feel happy and fulfilled, I needed both.
We understood that it would be a difficult road, but my husband and I embraced the challenge, and we were fortunate to have three children during my medical training. Although I will complete my MD in six years rather than the traditional four, the joy and fulfillment of being a mother to my three wonderful kids make this journey incredibly worthwhile. Despite the sacrifices and occasional moments of doubt, I am grateful for the opportunity to fulfill both of my dreams without having to choose between them.
What inspired you to want to support medical trainees with family planning and start Family Planning for Docs?
This topic has always been something I was very passionate about. After my second year of medical school, I joined Dr. Shirin Dason on a research project aimed at understanding the experiences of residents with family planning. Through this project and other research published by this team, it became evident that many residents, medical trainees, and early-career physicians feel compelled to compromise their family planning goals in pursuit of a medical career. Given the lengthy duration of medical training, which often coincides with prime childbearing years, this mindset can hinder individuals from building the families they desire.
Our research showed that mentorship plays a crucial role in shaping how trainees perceive family planning and whether they believe it is feasible to balance a medical career with starting a family. However, our studies also indicated that trainees frequently feel uncomfortable discussing these issues with their peers or mentors, leaving them without guidance on how to navigate family planning during their training. This gap led to the creation of familyplanningfordocs.com—a centralized resource for Canadian medical learners and early-career physicians to find practical answers to their family planning questions.
What type of support and resources does Family Planning for Docs offer students in the medical profession?
The mission of family planning for docs is to increase access to information and guidance for medical trainees and staff about family planning and family building. Our website offers a comprehensive array of resources including considerations for family building at different stages of medical training, checklists for parental leave arrangements and return-to-work plans, fertility preservation and treatment options, a summary of childcare solutions, and numerous other tips and insights. The website also provides opportunities to connect with mentors and hear from those who have successfully balanced family life with their successful medical careers.
The following summer, Dr. Dason and fellow medical student, Radha Sharma, launched a podcast titled Thriving or Surviving? as part of the Family Planning for Docs initiative. This podcast features physicians from various specialties sharing their personal experiences and strategies for managing family building alongside a fulfilling career in medicine. We are currently developing Season 2, which will focus on trainees’ experiences with starting families during medical training. We also have an Instagram page dedicated to highlighting resources and sharing up-to-date information and research to support learners in achieving their family-building goals while pursuing medical training and early staff positions.
Our team is working with the University of Toronto on some other exciting initiatives focused on advocating for policies and resources for undergraduate medical learners to be equipped to plan and build the families they desire. We have also recently partnered with students at the University of Ottawa to expand access to these resources for French-speaking medical trainees.
How have you interacted with the Family Care Office?
I became a mentor with the Family Care Office (FCO) in 2022. I was so excited to hear about a resource for students at the university who were balancing their studies with caregiver responsibilities. While I first joined to use my personal experiences to help others, I ultimately gained tremendously from meeting other students and staff and the FCO who could deeply understand and relate to my experiences and be a source of support throughout this journey.
Follow up: How have these supports and services helped you in your journey as a medical trainee with family responsibilities?
Starting a family while being a student can oftentimes be an isolating experience. It’s not something that most other students can relate to, and it makes it hard to find people to share these experiences with. I was so grateful to find the FCO and discover a whole group of people just like me!
What is one piece of advice you would give incoming students balancing academics and family responsibilities?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Raising children takes a village! No one was meant to do this on their own. I often think of the analogy of juggling balls – some are glass, others are rubber. It’s okay if you drop the rubber ones. They’ll bounce around but they won’t break. Focus your time and energy on not dropping the glass balls. Everyone’s glass balls are different but take the time to identify your non-negotiables and do everything you can to hold on tight to those. Don’t let the rubber balls take up your time or brain space. Delegate, delegate, delegate.
While there are moments when it feels overwhelming, I like to remind myself of the privilege of pursuing two of my greatest aspirations—becoming a physician and having a family. Reflecting on my younger self’s dreams and appreciating that I am currently living those dreams makes the challenging times much more manageable.
If anyone is looking for more advice for how to manage being a student and a parent, I wrote a blog post on familyplanning.com titled “Practical tips from a Parent in Medical School” that has all my tried-and-true tips that have helped me balance my various responsibilities.
I love connecting with other students who have families or are thinking about starting this journey. Never hesitate to reach out to me! There were so many others who have provided mentorship and guidance throughout my journey, it is my honour and privilege to extend the same support to others.
Check out Family Planning for Docs for more information on Abby’s initiative. University of Toronto students, staff, faculty, postdoctoral fellows and their partners/spouses are always encouraged to reach out to the Family Care Office (family.care@utoronto.ca or Tel: 416-978-0951) for any support or services related to family matters.