Gradlife

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By: Georgia Maxwell, Gradlife Ambassador

This week marks my 18th Gradlife blogpost, and I’ve written a lot of “How-To” pieces so far: How to organize your life… How to get more sleep… and I was going to do the same for this one. It was going to be titled, “How to keep going even when you’re over it” and it was going to inspire. It was going to pick up all the over-worked, over-it grad students, and it was going to pick me up in the process.

But then I stared at my computer and I realized that I don’t have any answers to this problem, and for once, I don’t think google does either. So I’ve decided that instead, I am just going to tell you how I feel, because maybe you feel the same way.

How I got to be so over it

If I’m being completely honest with you, winter break is when I lost whatever little scraps of motivation and energy I had left in December. I thought that having a three week break was going to make me into a new student, I thought it was going to recharge me and get me ready for another semester. But the break came and it went in the blink of an eye and now I feel more tired than I did when I was writing my final papers. Why? I have no idea. Maybe I had too good of a break. But the funny thing is I didn’t have that good of a break.  What actually ended up happening, if I am being completely honest with you, is I overslept, was in a bad mood about 60% of the time, got a couple of turtlenecks, and then it was over.

And now I’m back, and even though it’s my final semester I can barely get through class, let alone my readings, let alone my plethora of seminar presentations that I’ve been assigned. It doesn’t help that the weather is freezing and most of my friends randomly moved away, and even with the ones who are here I can’t go for (socially-distanced) walks with them half the time because it’s hailing, or snowing or just too cold to even carry a conversation. So not only am I burnt out and tired of zoom but I’m lonely.

The pandemic grad school combo

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that this combo is not very pretty. It’s as though covid has thrown all the best parts of Grad School out the window (getting to meet new people, make new friends, try new things etc.) and kept only the parts that aren’t so great: the stress and the work. Without that balance, it’s really hard to feel okay, and to have the energy to put your heart into your work.

So what to do?

I wish I had some snappy keep-your-chin-up, this-is-how-to-fix-it ending to this post, but unfortunately I don’t. Talking to my friends and my colleagues, however, has made me realize that most people are really over it by now, and while I’m not happy to hear that other people are struggling, it is nice to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way. So in case you haven’t had the chance to hear this from anyone else yet, and you are feeling this way too, then let me be the first to tell you: you’re not alone.

What I will leave you with, however, is some of the mental health resources have on campus. While it’s nice to know that other people feel the same way as you, that’s often not enough, and I encourage you to check out these U of T resources below:

Navi: Your Mental Health Wayfinder

My Student Support Program

Health & Wellness

I’m wishing you all the best for the rest of the semester. I hope you remember that you’re not alone, and spring really is just around the corner.