Gradlife

Well, it’s February! For a lot of people, February is all about love; showing your partner you love them, telling your kids how special they are, eating heart shaped candies, and buying pink tissue paper in bulk. Since I love the holidays more than anyone I know, I’m definitely one of the people you roll your eyes at because I will be baking red velvet cookies, wearing pink earrings, and basically finding any excuse to be just this side of too mushy with my partner. That being said however, I also think February is a great time to think about all of the relationships in our lives.

Every one of us is in a relationship, be it with a significant other, family, friends, peers, coworkers, bosses, students, you name it. Our everyday lives depend on the interactions we have with other people, how we perceive them, and how they perceive us. Everyday we have to navigate a plethora of relationships, each with a unique dynamic and a new set of understandings and rules that comes with it. With all of this interaction, it’s no wonder we sometimes get a little lost along the way, that sometimes we lose sight of what makes a relationship healthy.

*In case you’re wondering, YES, we are advocating that ALL good relationships are healthy ones, and that YES, you deserve to be happy and healthy in all of your relationships*

I am by no means an expert, but knowing somehow that the relationships I have with coworkers, friends, my partner, and my family are healthy ones, I decided to do a little digging on what exactly makes a healthy (read: happier) relationship, and how we can go about making sure our daily lives are a plethora of goodness and not just a collection of run-of-the-mill, or worse yet, unhealthy interactions.

After perusing too many websites to count, all with their own definitions of what makes a healthy relationship, and after far too many cups of coffee and nibbles of popcorn (I ate the whole bag, let’s be real about the fact that maybe my relationship with food isn’t as healthy as it could be! …see? relationships really are everywhere!), I found a pretty great list that we should all aim to “check off” in our relationships. And if we don’t have the time to check off EVERY item for EVERY interaction, then might I suggest you apply these to at least the most important relationships in your life? Those at least should be getting the time and effort they need to thrive (said she hopefully).

Obviously, not all of these “to-dos” are going to apply to all of your relationships, but I think we can conclude that respect, honesty, communication, and balance should definitely be a part of all of our relationships.

This, for me, is perhaps the most important piece of advice/insight I found while browsing for this “February kick off” blog. I am a firm believer that if you are not happy on your own, and as your own person, and in your own skin, then you will never be truly, completely, 100% happy with someone else, whether this means a significant other, a friend, a family member, or someone else. I’m going to bring it a little closer to home to give you a little more understanding of what I mean.

My partner and I like to joke that we’re both pretty awesome people, so we each enjoy being on our own (without each other) because the company is just so great; being with each other is just the cherry on top of an already fantastic sundae. Joking or not though, I think that we can’t rely solely on other people for our happiness…it’s just not healthy. BUT, if we’re happy and healthy already, just think of how much happier we’ll be when we meet that cherry on top.

*Side note: if you’re thinking to yourself that you might not be in a healthy relationship and want someone to talk to about it, I encourage you to check out the Health and Wellness Centre and their workshops.