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Whether you call it Valentine’s Day, Singles-Awareness Day or Friday, there’s no denying that, in our society, February 14 is a special day. It’s a day of love, of single solidarity, and the eve of fantastic chocolate sales. I want to change things up though. I want to make February the day of self-love.

If there’s anything I’ve noticed, it’s that we always beat ourselves up over things – little things, big things, stupid things.While it’s normal to sometimes feel insecure, it’s when it’s a prolonged or frequent experience that it becomes a problem. We don’t give ourselves nearly enough credit for our achievements. Most of the time, it’s probably because you just forgot – things like writing papers and giving presentations start to feel like normal and “part of the job”. Other times, it’s modesty, which is usually a good thing. But never, ever acknowledging your achievements, however big or small, can be detrimental to your own self-esteem.

Self-love is a mentality. It’s about treating yourself right and taking care of yourself, especially when you feel like you don’t deserve it. It’s about being okay with the mishaps that happen – the stutter in a speech, the contaminated sample in the lab – and learning how to deal with it.

To celebrate Self-Love Day, I have made a list of three things we can all do to to show ourselves some love.

1. Complement yourself. Blush prettily.

Optional: Saying “Aw, shucks” and fluttering your eyelashes.

2. Try something you’ve never tried before and feel good about not being good at it.

As grad students, we feel this unspoken pressure to be very good at what we do. We’re expected by others to be good, and as a result, we hold ourselves to very high standards. Getting rid of that pressure is liberating. For example, last week I tried boxing for the first time. I was horrible at it, and it hurts to type this post, but it feels great to do something that no one expects me to be good at.

3. Reflect on why you chose the path you are taking. 

It may feel like you ended up in a grad program by accident, and even if that’s true, chances are there are real reasons why you have decided to stay. Make a list of reasons why you chose your path, what you like about it, and why you’re good at it. Pat yourself on the back.

How do you show yourself some love? Share in the comments below!

For more (serious-er) thoughts on self-love, check out this article on Psychology Today.