{"id":879,"date":"2008-12-19T15:40:55","date_gmt":"2008-12-19T20:40:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/UpbeaT\/?p=879"},"modified":"2008-12-19T15:40:55","modified_gmt":"2008-12-19T20:40:55","slug":"a-cup-of-summation-with-a-dash-of-fortuity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2008\/12\/19\/a-cup-of-summation-with-a-dash-of-fortuity\/","title":{"rendered":"A Cup of Summation with a Dash of Fortuity"},"content":{"rendered":"Welp, my last exam is in\u2026 44 minutes. Not looking forward to it. For various, emotional and psychological reasons, I have not been myself this semester. Keyword: Apathy. Subtext: Delusions of grandeur. Playing the DVD backwards: Unadulterated sadness.\n

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But one half of me still managed to drag the grieving half through it. And dare I say it, forced her to have some fun<\/a>* along the way.<\/p>\n

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I\u2019ve gone through this semester with blinders on, forgotten my brain, and have almost lost the ability<\/a> to speak with conviction. Case in point; this blog. Most of my posts have to take on a personal perspective because, quite frankly, I don\u2019t trust my grasp on certain facts. If facts are given, they must be\u2026 factually perfect. Even now I go on about myself because I cannot think of anything else to say that will be useful for you. I can only hope that the ploofy feelings described will help you\u2026 I don\u2019t know, think more about your own? Fear sucks. As does people telling you what you are and what you should be.<\/p>\n

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Have you ever just wanted everyone to BE QUIET<\/a>?<\/p>\n

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So you can figure things out for yourself? I think there\u2019s a reason why we all have different DNA; in order for thought processes to continually differentiate, until the human race becomes a collective of variant ideas and operative<\/a> possibilities. Not to say all ideas are good; plenty use their brains to exact all kinds of hatred and atrocities. Removing those, we could have something really good going on, huh?<\/p>\n

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I\u2019ve done a lot of thinking. A lot of thinking I don\u2019t feel I need to elaborate on here. A lot of personal thinking. The way a student relates to their school life is often a reflection of their life as a whole. This is why low marks can lead to the furthest forms of self-hatred and inner contempt. This is why your choice in major\/minor\/specialist can make you feel like your whole life is a lie. It can easily be taken out of healthy<\/a> perspective.<\/p>\n

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So. At the end of this semester, I better understand what I need to do to be... happy. Perhaps not happy. Maybe \u2018content<\/a> with myself\u2019 is a better term. I don\u2019t think, what with outside sources, unexpected events and unwanted interruptions, it is possible to be the conventional understanding of \u2018happy\u2019.<\/p>\n

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These are some things I have learned, or maybe things I need to be told, so I\u2019d like to share them with any other students out there who are shy, angry, afraid, exasperated<\/a>, and susceptible to soul-suckers, negative vibes, vampiric factions of society, self-hatred, demonic expectations, and general unhappiness.<\/p>\n

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