{"id":37690,"date":"2019-02-28T16:48:13","date_gmt":"2019-02-28T21:48:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/?p=37690"},"modified":"2019-02-28T16:48:13","modified_gmt":"2019-02-28T21:48:13","slug":"application-results-and-me-a-dramatic-re-telling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2019\/02\/28\/application-results-and-me-a-dramatic-re-telling\/","title":{"rendered":"Application Results and Me: A Dramatic Re-telling"},"content":{"rendered":"
The girl sat at her desk. Behind her, the ceiling light flickered. Outside, the wind screamed.\r\n\r\nWith a sudden loud buzz, the light died, leaving the room in total darkness, save for the glow of the white screen that kept her gaze locked.\r\n\r\nShe reached for the track-pad, hand shaking. Any warmth she felt during the day had long since dissipated, seeking a home not destined for certain doom.\r\n\r\nThe search engine popped up, and slowly she typed in the one word she hadn\u2019t been able to get off of her mind since November.\r\n\r\nOutlook.\r\n\r\nAs her email loaded, she thought she felt her heart beating quickly. But no, her heart had been ripped out and used to pay for her graduate school applications, and her lungs for summer research applications.\r\n\r\nAfter all of the build up; the terror that was sparked in her at the very thought of checking her inbox; when it finally came up on screen, it was like a whisper in the night.\r\n\r\nOf course, it was empty.<\/blockquote>\r\nOne thing that binds us all together is our shared history of applications. Applying to university, applying for jobs, applying for scholarships. You get the idea.\r\n\r\nAnd, unfortunately, it\u2019s that time of year again.\r\n\r\nThe above is a dramatic rendition of me checking my email every hour, hoping to have heard from one of the many places holding my application hostage.\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s even harder when I remember that some people have already heard from graduate schools. Some people already know what they\u2019ll be doing to make money over the summer, and some people even have jobs lined up for September.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m almost there, maybe. I\u2019ve applied, but now I have to wait.\r\n\r\nAnd wait.\r\n\r\nAnd wait.\r\n\r\nAnd, let\u2019s be honest, probably wait some more.\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve always struggled with waiting to hear back on applications. Partially because I cower at the idea of somebody judging what is hopefully an accurate representation of me, and partially because I, like many, like to have some semblance of a plan for \"A<\/a>the next year or so.\r\n\r\nFebruary\/March may be the worst for applications, because most of the time they\u2019ve all been submitted, and now you\u2019re just waiting to hear back.\r\n\r\nIt also certainly doesn\u2019t help that we\u2019re swamped with midterms.\r\n\r\nThis year, since my brain has convinced me that grad school applications are the most important thing that will ever happen to me ever<\/em>, I\u2019ve been particularly bad at keeping my cool and managing stress. But I\u2019ve done a little research, and there are a few things I\u2019ve been telling myself that seem to be helping me deal with the waiting:\r\n