{"id":25977,"date":"2015-10-23T10:59:52","date_gmt":"2015-10-23T14:59:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/?p=25977"},"modified":"2015-10-23T14:50:03","modified_gmt":"2015-10-23T18:50:03","slug":"self-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2015\/10\/23\/self-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"Hello!\r\n\r\nI\u2019m a chatty person.\r\n\r\nIn elementary school, the comments sections of my report card consistently remarked on how I would benefit from chatting less in class.\r\n\r\n<figure id=\"attachment_25993\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-25993\" style=\"width: 201px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/1.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-25993\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/1-201x300.jpeg\" alt=\"Madelin on her first day of kindergarten circa 1999. Let the conversations begin.\" width=\"201\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/1-201x300.jpeg 201w, https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/1-686x1024.jpeg 686w, https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/1.jpeg 790w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 201px) 100vw, 201px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-25993\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Madelin on her first day of kindergarten circa 1999. Let the conversations begin.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\nAs much as my chattiness is often directed at others,\u00a0many of my\u00a0conversations\u00a0are in fact\u00a0with my own self.\r\n\r\nBefore you make any judgments, let me tell you that these \"self-talk\" conversations are often quite productive and\u00a0positive, and have helped me get\u00a0through a lot of different situations\u00a0in my life.\r\n\r\nFor example, in high school, I would talk myself through challenging calculus equations aloud. Teachers and my peers of course noticed this and\u00a0would comment on this too.\r\n\r\nMost of the self-talk dialogue I participate in\u00a0is part of\u00a0an internal conversation-- one that\u2019s taking place in my head.\r\n\r\nThoughts, after all, are just conservations you are having with yourself.\u00a0Scientists say we have 20-50 thousand thoughts a day. That\u2019s a really chatty brain.\r\n\r\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/WF_HqZrrx0c?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nThese conversations have power.\r\n\r\nFor example, I have been using mantras for as long as I can remember. Some are situational, and some are just truthful statements that I use when I need a pick-me-up.\r\n\r\nBefore a test, I always use the mantra \u201cI am practiced. I am focused. I am calm\u201d. I repeat this message until I actually believe it (and\/or until the test starts).\r\n\r\nThe mantras that I intentionally develop are powerful, but equally powerful are the negative internal self-talk messages that creep into the conversation.\r\n\r\n\u201cYou are not enough.\u201d \u201cYou messed up again.\u201d \u201cYou are undeserving.\u201d\r\n\r\n<strong>The interesting news is that these thoughts are not necessarily ill-intentioned.<\/strong>\r\n\r\nHumans have a negativity bias that helps us to be aware of the potentially unpleasant or dangerous things around us. Our brains prioritize paying attention to the things that play into our survival, before we notice the other things.\r\n\r\nThis is why we remember insults (internal or external) before we remember compliments. It also means that we have a natural, psychological tendency to pick up on the negative and hold onto it really tightly.\r\n\r\n<figure id=\"attachment_25991\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-25991\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/InsideOut-Joy_Sadness.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-25991\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/InsideOut-Joy_Sadness-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"photo courtesy of http:\/\/entertainment.inquirer.net\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/InsideOut-Joy_Sadness-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/InsideOut-Joy_Sadness-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/InsideOut-Joy_Sadness-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/files\/2015\/10\/InsideOut-Joy_Sadness.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-25991\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo courtesy of http:\/\/entertainment.inquirer.net<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\n<strong>So, my brain is just standing guard against danger for me when it sends me negative messages, and I should leave it to do its job? Not necessarily.<\/strong>\r\n\r\nWhen I start to participate in this negative type of dialogue with myself, my view of reality starts to be affected. The intimate conversations I have with myself start to influence my relationship with others and my confidence in myself. They aren\u2019t keeping me safe from danger, but putting me in a dangerous mental space.\r\n\r\nMy thoughts start spiralling down, and even if I catch them in the act, sometimes I\u2019m willing to let them keep going because they are starting to become louder and more aggressive than the other dialogues in my head.\r\n\r\nSo, what to do?\r\n\r\nThoughts can be challenged. Negative internal voices can be stifled with messages\u00a0or mantras that are in direct opposition to the negative ones.\r\n\r\n\u201cI am enough. I deserve to feel well. I am confident I can do well.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnother strategy is to extend these\u00a0conversations with another human being. Sometimes, saying the thoughts aloud is enough to realize how silly and untruthful they are.\u00a0Open the dialogue up to a friend, a university staff or faculty member,\u00a0a trained peer volunteer at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/hwc\/peers-are-here\">Peers are Here<\/a> drop-in hours, or to a student helpline called <a href=\"http:\/\/www.good2talk.ca\">Good2Talk<\/a>.\r\n\r\nThey will probably inform you that those self-talk conversations are untruthful and harmful if left unattended. It\u2019s time to close that conversation window and leave space for conversations that positively influence your reality.\r\n\r\nAllow yourself those thoughts that spiral you upward. Change the conversation so that it contributes to your\u00a0well-being.\r\n\r\nChat with me in the comments to share how you combat negative self-talk!\r\n\r\nHave a great week!\r\n\r\nMadelin","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-summary\">\n<div class=\"entry-summary\">\nHello! I\u2019m a chatty person. In elementary school, the comments sections of my report card consistently remarked on how I would benefit from chatting less in class. As much as my chattiness is often directed at others,\u00a0many of my\u00a0conversations\u00a0are in&hellip;\n<\/div><div class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2015\/10\/23\/self-talk\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &ldquo;Self-Talk&rdquo;<\/span>&hellip;<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2015\/10\/23\/self-talk\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &ldquo;Self-Talk&rdquo;<\/span>&hellip;<\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"author":269,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7204,62,1,67],"tags":[10743,15657,15659,15660,15658,151,15656,10943],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25977"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/269"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25977"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25977\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26020,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25977\/revisions\/26020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}