{"id":16078,"date":"2013-02-06T09:44:12","date_gmt":"2013-02-06T14:44:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/?p=16078"},"modified":"2014-09-09T09:52:26","modified_gmt":"2014-09-09T13:52:26","slug":"the-art-of-forgiving-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2013\/02\/06\/the-art-of-forgiving-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Forgiving Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.\"<\/em><\/p>\r\n

- Mahatma Gandhi<\/em><\/p>\r\nWe\u2019ve all heard the expression \u201cforgive and forget.\u201d \u00a0For most people, it seems, that expression only applies to other people. We\u2019re supposed to give loved ones, whether they be friends, family members, partners, or others, second chances. And that can be a struggle, especially when we have been wronged. \u00a0But I\u2019ve learned that one of the hardest things to do is to forgive yourself for mistakes that you\u2019ve made.\r\n\r\n\"\"<\/a> My first year was my worst. \u00a0Hands-down. \u00a0UofT intimidated me. \u00a0I can still remember walking into Con Hall and thinking \u201cthere are more students in this one class than in my entire high school.\u201d\u00a0 I lived in residence but homesickness took over within a few weeks. I struggled through my courses and felt a little lost on campus. \u00a0It wasn\u2019t until the end of Year 1 that I decided to talk to someone.\r\n\r\nI booked an appointment with my registrar\u2019s office and walked my advisor through my issues. \u00a0I asked her to fix my situation. To make it right. \u00a0I wanted her to give me a step-by-step solution to all my troubles. \u00a0I wanted her to turn back time.\r\n\r\nWhat she said to me completely through me off because it was so unexpected and seemed so irrelevant. \u00a0She looked me in the eye and asked me \u201cIf your best friend came to you with this issue, what would be the first thing that you say?\u201d\r\n\r\nI wasn\u2019t really sure where this was going but I said \u201cI\u2019d tell her not to give up.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cOh?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cWell yeah. I\u2019d tell her to cut herself some slack. \u00a0Everyone makes mistakes. \u00a0And she\u2019s resourceful enough to recover from a setback.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnd then she said \u201cSo why can\u2019t you say that to yourself? \u00a0Why doesn\u2019t that apply to you?\u201d\r\n\r\nI think that was one of the first times I realized that it\u2019s okay to make mistakes. \u00a0To not have everything figured out. \u00a0Forgiving yourself doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t have to deal with the consequences of your actions (and yes, there will be consequences). \u00a0It just means that those consequences don\u2019t have to include shame, guilt, or depression.\r\n\r\nI remember asking my advisor \u201cif I\u2019m not hard on myself, won\u2019t people think that I\u2019m not taking my situation seriously?\u201d\r\n\r\nShe pointed out \u201cdo you think that your loved ones want you to be moping around? \u00a0Or do you think they\u2019d prefer it if you were resourceful and found a way to rectify your situation?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cMaybe I should change my study habits.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cAnd you will. But before you can do that, you need to move on. \u00a0And the only way to do that is to forgive yourself.\u201d\r\n\r\n\"\"<\/a>I remember walking out of the registrar\u2019s office with a sense of relief. \u00a0I didn\u2019t have a step-by-step solution to my problem like I\u2019d hoped. \u00a0But I figured out a way to re-channel my time and energy to improving my situation instead of beating myself up over it.\r\n\r\nI think, in the midst of the expectations that others have for us and those that we have for ourselves, we forget that we are human. That we fail. \u00a0And that presents one of the biggest barriers to letting go of the past and moving on. \u00a0Reminding ourselves that we are worthy of forgiveness is half the battle.\r\n\r\n\"\"<\/a> Till next time,\r\n\r\nIshita","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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\n\"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.\" - Mahatma Gandhi We\u2019ve all heard the expression \u201cforgive and forget.\u201d \u00a0For most people, it seems, that expression only applies to other people. We\u2019re supposed to give loved…\n<\/div>
Continue reading “The Art of Forgiving Yourself”<\/span>…<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>
Continue reading “The Art of Forgiving Yourself”<\/span>…<\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"author":170,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[86,170,78,405,153,193,475,9307,176,138,286,85,25506,48],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16078"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/170"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16078"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16078\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16117,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16078\/revisions\/16117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}