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Guest post: Mallory Hilkewich from Healthy Grads

I am a grad student at U of T. Although I study Social Work I am unsure whether I want to be a ‘social worker’. As I continue through my Masters program, I feel like much of the grad experience goes by unspoken. So I thought I could write a blog post to bring voice to what that is for me. I was going to write about student life-financial hacks, but then I thought Buzzfeed will always do it better [see here, here, here & here]. Instead I am writing about something I have been struggling with: mental wellbeing. As a student I (usually) attend classes, work at a placement, try to stay on top of school work, hold a part-time job, volunteer, shower, eat, sleep, clean, deal with emergencies that arise, and at the end of that I try to spend time with family and friends. For those with their own family I imagine this fits in much higher up. For me, time with friends and family is essential to my mental wellbeing.

People have many ways to maintain mental wellbeing. Some enjoy solitude or physical movement, others like crafting, some like gaming or binging on Netflix, and so on. I enjoy intimate social outings – like coffee or dinner dates and walks through parks. These activities create space for me to reflect, debrief, re-connect with people and the world beyond my studies, to think outside of academic jargon, and simply relax my soul.

Yet as lives change and schedules differ – people have families or work multiple jobs – it isn’t so simple to maintain relationships. Sometimes the few hours of free time for me aren’t free for anyone else. Sometimes we plan weeks in advance and when the day comes we are too exhausted to get on a long transit ride, let alone be social.

So what do we do? How do we commit to our own practice of mental wellbeing? I asked some fellow students, and one explained that he uses apps to better manage his time. Although this worked well for him – having more phone apps made me feel anxious. Other students said they are working at ‘not being’ perfectionists. Some make lists. Others enjoy a cup of their favourite tea. Some turn up music and dance in their kitchen. Others tell themselves they will be okay & take deep breaths. I know habitual meditators who practice to keep calm and focused. Overall,what I heard the most, is that there is no one solution, but many ways to practice or enhance wellbeing.

It can also take the form of talking with a graduate student counsellor or attending free events like crafting & meditation classes posted on the HealthyU calendar or the upcoming Healthy Grads’ De-stress Circle. Others connect with a like-minded community at the Family Resource Centre, through Accessibility Services, or the Athletic Centre or any of the amazing programs run out of the Centre for Women and Trans People (to name a few).

Maybe this was an unnecessary ramble. Or maybe you connect with something I said. I recognize that not everyone shares in my experiences or holds my views about mental wellbeing. But my hope in writing this is that each of us can acknowledge the importance of, and commit to, even a tiny act to support how we support our own mental wellbeing. So I ask: “What helps your mental wellbeing?”

About Mallory:

Mallory will graduate with a Master of Social Work in 2016- which sounds way more grand than she feels. She is not always good at navigating graduate school, but appreciates reminiscing with others over student fumbles (i.e. snoozing through 6AM class registrations & questioning her educational choices). Mallory has enjoyed connecting with other grad students as a member of the GSU, Advocacy & Equity Committee, working at Health & Wellness as a Grad Peer Educator and doing school work with other graduate students at the Grad Room.