{"id":21836,"date":"2014-10-15T11:00:54","date_gmt":"2014-10-15T15:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/?p=21836"},"modified":"2014-10-29T11:52:56","modified_gmt":"2014-10-29T15:52:56","slug":"that-human-thing-where-you-meet-new-people-my-social-anxiety-and-the-importance-of-being-selfish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/2014\/10\/15\/that-human-thing-where-you-meet-new-people-my-social-anxiety-and-the-importance-of-being-selfish\/","title":{"rendered":"That Human Thing Where You Meet New People: My Social Anxiety and the Importance of Being Selfish"},"content":{"rendered":"So here is the thing, I am really awful at meeting new people. I don\u2019t know what it is, but anytime someone introduces me to their friend\/significant other, I get all manic and loud and just, well, hyper<\/em>. Keep it at small-talk level, add in a \u201coh WOW that is so <\/em>fascinating\u201d along with some terrible self-deprecating jokes here and there, and you have me.\r\n\r\nAnd while it may seem like I am just really <\/em>interested in whatever you have to say, I am really just trying to make it through the awkwardness of it all. In fact, as you are talking, my mind is usually all over the place with negative and intrusive thoughts such as:\r\n\r\n\u201cDid I really just say I hate wearing bras? Why did I just tell her that I ran out of shampoo two days ago? Haley, pull it together and stop being so loud. Just try <\/em>to be normal. Gah, can it be anymore obvious that I have generalized anxiety disorder?\u201d\r\n\r\n
\"What<\/a>
What I wear to work (note the nervous eyebrows).<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\n
\"What<\/a>
What I would much rather be wearing...<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\nTo be clear, this is not <\/strong>just nerves. For days or<\/em> even weeks<\/em>, I replay past conversations in my mind because I am beating myself up over how annoying\/abrasive\/arrogant I was. I just laugh when people say I have a good memory because that is precisely the problem: I can almost never let anything that I did \u201cwrong\u201d go.\r\n\r\nAnd this is me on <\/em>medication.\r\n\r\nAnd so, what is the point of me telling you avid U of T blog readers this? Well, I think the fact that I am so self-aware of one of my many<\/em> anxiety triggers and that I am comfortable telling you all this (albeit, behind a laptop) is a MAJOR step from where I was in first year. Back in the day, I had no idea what and who were my triggers. Now, I know that I will get anxious when I meet new people and that is okay. More to the point, I know it is okay to step out of those unavoidable schmoozing situations for ten minutes and to say no when I feel like going out is too much for me. Plus, I know\u00a0my psychiatrist at CAPS will be there for me at our next appointment.\r\n\r\n
\"Plus,<\/a>
AND I like talking to my friends who \"get it\" and understand my struggles \ud83d\ude00<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\nFor me anyways, I have found that being self-aware about my mental health and knowing my limitations is what keeps me on track. No matter how many degrees someone has, the person that knows you the best is you. So take advantage of you and be selfish when it comes to your mental wellbeing. <\/strong>Talk to folks who \u201cget it\u201d (yes, there are people out there), use the resources on campus<\/a>,\u00a0and don\u2019t feel ashamed to go to your college registrar to ask for an extension. I am telling you in all cerealness, putting myself first was the best thing I could have done.\r\n\r\nCheers,\r\n\r\nHaley\r\n\r\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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\nSo here is the thing, I am really awful at meeting new people. I don\u2019t know what it is, but anytime someone introduces me to their friend\/significant other, I get all manic and loud and just, well, hyper. Keep it…\n<\/div>
Continue reading “That Human Thing Where You Meet New People: My Social Anxiety and the Importance of Being Selfish”<\/span>…<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>
Continue reading “That Human Thing Where You Meet New People: My Social Anxiety and the Importance of Being Selfish”<\/span>…<\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"author":246,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,66,67,68,77],"tags":[86,1248,12766,9307,12367,1439,12765,25505,12767,12768,9472,85],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21836"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/246"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21836"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21836\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21844,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21836\/revisions\/21844"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.studentlife.utoronto.ca\/lifeatuoft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}