I carry some secrets with me, I mean, I think its only human to have things you wish to only share with your inner self, or those closest to you. But what I want to tell you is something that yes, is close to my heart, but something that I also think you can benefit from. Something I wish I knew before I started university, something I wish somebody had told me. But, alas, the transition from innocence to experience is a solitary one.
Life isn’t easy. Ok, that I already knew, believe me. But, what I didn’t know, and what felt like a secret, was how many emotions are involved in the process of growing up. The ups and downs, the tears and smiles. For some reason I thought it would be so much easier, I expected a smooth ride into adulthood, at least after what felt like a turbulent adolescence. But, as we grow older, the disparity between the ups and downs grows bigger. The decisions we need to make are astronomic, the hearts that can break will fall into a million pieces, but the happiness can be insurmountable. We need to ask ourselves if the reward is worth the sacrifice, and university is a paradox in that way, because it can be seen as both a sacrifice and reward (at least for some).
Take the time in university to discover yourself; don’t let your own identity be kept secret from you. It’s not just about learning what you like to study, but learning about what things in life you want. Now that I’m on the brink of graduation, I look back at my x number of years in school, and I realize that I have overcome so much, I went from doing so badly in my first years to doing extremely well now. In my last year I have also figured out a small particle of truth about myself (now that’s just for me), perhaps because when we are faced with endings we force ourselves to reflect.
With graduation upon me I am getting kind of sentimental. Before, I couldn’t wait until I could leave, and don’t get me wrong, I still do, but with a bittersweet flavour in my heart. I spent so long here, I’ve grown attached to the certainty of classes, essays, stress and the few wonderful people I’ve gotten to know. My advice is to appreciate the experience while you are still here, and not let it pass you by. Get to know yourself so that when you are done your time at U of T, you feel confident in your experience. Have no regrets.
I want to say thank you to all of my readers for giving me the outlet to express myself, to my Upbeat team for inspiring me, and to Andrea, you helped me rediscover my passion for writing, I will be forever grateful.