Persona – Samson

After graduating high school, I decided to move close to U of T to avoid a long commute but also start an independent life away from my parents. I went online and found a room in a shared apartment near Bloor and Bay intersection. Turned out it was a popular location for U of T students, so most of my roommates were other first year students from different universities in Toronto. My parents didn’t want me to move out because they were so used to my presence in their house, but they also did not approve of that room because, let’s say, it was not the most renovated room with some paint coming off the walls and a lot of dust. Well, it was the best place I could find within my budget.

I’m worried that my parents began to resent me for moving out somewhere, especially somewhere they did not like. They really do not understand why I wanted to move out, so I do not see them supporting me financially to find a better place either. Personally, I think moving out was really good for me – I now can connect with other students, learn to live independently, and the commute is much faster, too.

But of course, living in this apartment for a bit, there are some complications. After a long day of classes, I just want a place to sit and unwind. But my apartment doesn’t feel like home. I have several roommates, and everyone has a different routine, mostly because they all are from different universities and have different schedules. Sometimes my sleep gets disrupted, since our apartment does not have “quiet hours” like some university residences do. There are always too many people in the kitchen for me to prepare food, and I can’t comfortably address my necessities living here, much less get any homework done. I am also trying to be responsible for my environment and clean up after myself, but this is also hard to do because my roommates are so messy. The environment at my apartment is really getting to me, so I mostly rely on university spaces to work and rest.

I’m disappointed with my living situation and it’s left me feeling very demotivated. I’m not eating or sleeping enough and it’s impacting my mood. I would usually talk to my parents about how I'm feeling, but I'm scared to bother them with my problems. Instead, I spend a lot of time isolated in my room since I don’t have anyone that I feel like I can talk to. I spend a lot of days too sad to get my schoolwork done, and I’ve even been missing classes to stay at home and catch up on missed sleep, when my roommates are not around. I just wish I had the money to have a different living space, where maybe I could spend my free time cooking instead of getting cafeteria food all the time, and just sleep. I really want to feel like I have a place to call home.