Persona – Pranlal

I am a student registered with Accessibility Services. I guess I always lead with that information because it’s mentally exhausting to explain my disability and my individual accessibility needs to everyone. I have a mobility issue that isn’t super easy to notice at first glance, but even though it isn’t easily visible, it doesn’t stop the fact that moving around easily on campus can be hard for me.

Most of my classes are in the same few buildings on campus I go to. But, like many U of T buildings, they seem old and not designed for students with mobility disabilities in mind, which makes it not the easiest to navigate there. I sometimes feel a bit high maintenance— because while my friends can typically go to any entrance to get into spaces, I often have to go around buildings until I find an entrance with less stairs or a ramp. It doesn’t feel great when these entrances feel out of the way or are on the side or back of a building. The distance makes me feel like I’m separated from everyone else. It’s also a bit of a hassle to go all that extra way to get to the same place as everyone else, so I have to plan my time efficiently.

I am a quiet person and feeling high maintenance just does not feel right and brings me so much anxiety. I remember a moment when I was heading to a lecture in the University College building with a group of new friends I just made in my class. Coming up to the main entrance of the building, I saw the main UC stairs and felt a rush of anxiety in my body – how do I explain to them that I cannot use these stairs? I felt awkward and did not share many details. I think I laughed it off and said that I just need to say hi to my other friend waiting for me on the left side of the building. Of course, there was no friend waiting for me, but it gave me an excuse to not to draw too much attention to myself by disclosing my disability.

Unfortunately, once I was in the classroom, it was already getting busy, and my new friends could not save me a spot near them. It was very tedious, but I tried to find another seat in the classroom. I felt distant from my new friends that day. But I know if I could walk up those stairs together with the group, I would have probably had a chance to connect and open up to them more without feeling like a burden.

I want to feel comfortable on campus. I just feel like it was not designed for students like me. While I know self-advocacy is important, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel awkward or demanding about requesting special accommodations or opening up to people. I’m trying to unlearn this idea that having a disability is a burden for others. I’m slowly getting more confident about advocating for my needs and I just hope I can see some effort in return to make campus spaces accessible for everyone including myself.