Persona – Min

As a young single mom, I always questioned whether I would be a good parent. My life changed drastically when my son was born. From being a young person who was just starting university, living in the city for the first time, and considering studying abroad, I quickly shifted to moving back in with my parents and realigning my priorities to being the best mother I could. Going back to school after 3 years was a big decision for me, but I was excited to finish my degree so I could pursue a career that would lead to a successful future for me and my son.

My parents are amazing, and I am lucky to have them in my life to support me in raising my boy. However, he gets sick a lot and I am the only one who has been able to comfort him during rough periods. While I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but by his side when he’s not feeling well, I can feel the late nights supporting him are taking a toll on my health. I’m always tired and I’ve been feeling scatterbrained. I also can’t tell if I’m even helping my son. When he is really having a difficult night, I feel helpless when I can’t get him to calm down or feel better.

Recently, I went to class after a long night awake with my son. I was running late, and when I arrived, I was surprised to learn that I had missed the deadline to hand in a report proposal that I thought was due next week. I felt so embarrassed because our class discussion was going to be based on each of our research topics. I was disappointed in myself for making such a careless mistake and felt silly sitting in class not understanding or engaging in anything because I didn’t have my proposal ready. I felt anxious thinking about when I would have time to write the proposal - I knew I had some other assignments I desperately needed to finish and a sick son to care for. However, I was hesitant to reach out for an extension because I had already missed the deadline, and the proposal was only 2 pages long. I was worried that it would be an unreasonable request to ask for an extension, and I didn’t want to draw more attention to my error.

Feeling like I’m always messing up and not doing anything “right” is demoralizing. I feel like I have been making all the wrong choices lately and that I’m pushing myself beyond my limits. I can’t deny how much support I get from my parents, so I feel guilty for feeling so alone in my struggles. I wish I could just get it right and feel confident that I am taking care of my son properly, while also achieving my dream of getting a university degree.