Persona – Kiana

I’m really happy to be at U of T because it is my first experience studying abroad. I’m also enjoying working with my supervisor, who is a leader in the field I’m studying. But adjusting to life here has been harder than I thought.

For starters, it was taking a long time for me to get used to the time zone difference, and I felt guilty because I kept missing my calls back home to speak to my family. The timing just never seemed to work out. I really missed them, and I knew they missed me, but on top of the timing issue, the call quality was not the best, which made my time away even harder.

During my first semester here, I felt very lonely. Everyone in my graduate cohort seemed really friendly but they already formed their own social groups somehow, and I felt like it was too late for me to make my way into one of them. At the beginning of the semester, I remember my supervisor told us we could reach out to her, and some of my peers even spoke up that they hoped we could support and be there for each other. Although they all appeared approachable, it felt like people were just better at forming connections than me, so I felt a little bit hesitant to reach out. Taking the first step was always really hard for me. To be honest, nothing has changed since then, and I’m really worried that I won’t be able to make my way into any friend groups.

On top of this, I remember being stressed about my finances. I didn’t want my family to know how stressed I was because they had invested a lot into my education, and I didn’t want them to worry. The process to secure graduate school funding was more complicated than I anticipated, and I was struggling to navigate through all of U of T’s resources. I recently got an additional part-time job at a convenience store to help cover some of my living costs, which has helped take some of the pressure off financially, but I’ve been picking up so many shifts that I barely have time or energy for a social life now. I just feel disconnected and stuck in this loop.

I really hope that I’ll be able to work up the courage to approach some of my peers. I know that, by building new connections, I’ll be reminded of how excited I felt and why I came here in the first place.