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Last week, Gradlife had the chance to go to an improv class hosted by Second City. While I’ve done this class before, having a new instructor impart the same information in a slightly different way helped to reinforce what I already knew (hint hint to all of you T.A.s out there). Now, with the information under my belt twice, I’ve been thinking about what Second City had to say about communication, and more importantly, HOW they shared what they had to say.

It seems like a pretty taken-for-granted fact that effective communication is a necessary skill to succeeding in life; be it in a classroom, a relationship, with your parents/friends, or in the workplace, knowing how to communicate is often times more important than what you need to communicate. Essentially, having the skills to get your message across can be the difference between a total flop and solidifying relationships.

So, what makes a person an effective communicator? A few small tips from our workshop:

1. Always focus on “Yes, and…”. I think we can all figure out that a “no” is a hard stop to any communication; but it turns out that simply agreeing also doesn’t help things a whole lot. Take this scenario for example: you want to go out with your friend, and suggest so; the only thing they say is, “Yes!”. A yes is nice, but it also means that all of the pressure to figure out the how/what/where/when/why is now on you; so next time you’re being asked something, consider saying “Yes, AND…” to take some of the pressure off the other person.
2. Play the “last word” game. Ever notice how we’re always waiting for the person we’re talking to to finish their sentence so we can jump in and have our say? Many of us are so focused on what we want to say to follow up the information given to us that we don’t stay tuned in until the end of another person’s sentence, which means we might miss out on some crucial info. So, next time you’re having a conversation with someone, challenge yourself to start your next sentence with the last word of theirs. Tricky, huh? Yes, AND you might find that it actually helps your communication because it’s forcing you to listen just as much as you want to talk (see what I did there?).
3. Move from “You should/could…” to “Let’s…”.  In life, there are going to be times when we have a problem that needs fixing, there’s no getting around it. The question though, is how we handle that problem effectively. Why not try using the word “Let’s…” to frame your conversation surrounding these problems. Using the word “Let’s…” makes both parties part of the problem AND the solution, meaning that you’re more likely to come to an effective solution that satisfies both people. Using “you should/could…” on the other hand, reinforces power relationships that don’t necessarily benefit anyone involved.
4. Stop starting your sentences with “Yeah, No.” I am so guilty of this that I did it to the course instructor the minute the class ended; she asked me a question and I started with, “Yeah, no, yeah,,,” before I could stop myself. Here’s why it’s not a good thing to of: it sends the message that you don’t really want to be talking to that person, and it’s essentially the same as putting a Full-Stop NO on the communication. Ditch the no, and focus back on number 1: Yes, AND…

These are just some of the things that the improv class helped us understand about effective communication, but we know that this is not the be all and end all, so here are some other resources that you can browse to help make conversations more interesting, more effective, and more meaningful than what I’m sure some us practice on a daily basis.

• 4 Methods to Foster Communication
• Great Communication
• Team Communication 

Have other tips for U of T grads on being a better communicator? Shoot us a message, or comment below, we’d love to hear what you have to say 🙂